


Language Barrier

by Seamus_Fanigan



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Cunnilingus, F/F, Femslash, Lesbian Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-30
Updated: 2020-05-30
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:33:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,179
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24455998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Seamus_Fanigan/pseuds/Seamus_Fanigan
Summary: Sometimes Luna's ideas are great, but sometimes she just gets the wrong end of the stick.....
Relationships: Hermione Granger/Pansy Parkinson
Comments: 2
Kudos: 37





	Language Barrier

**Author's Note:**

> There's a slight hint of non-consent here, but the whole story is meant to be light hearted. Please don't take it too seriously

With a sigh of exasperation and frustration Hermione flung her quill down on her parchment and massaged her wrist to relieve the cramp.  
She'd been in the library all Saturday morning and just couldn't make head nor tail of the last paragraph. While she was adept enough at ancient runes when the language was English or even Gaelic she had no idea what language the last paragraph was written in. She stared furiously at the old book that had given her so much trouble.  
She'd tried Greek, Latin, Sumerian, early Arabic, the list went on and on and the piles of foreign language dictionaries stacked around her had risen higher and higher.   
Hermione looked up at the clock, it was nearly lunchtime and she'd wasted her entire morning on a private project. It was a beautiful morning too; looking out of the window she saw the lawn in front of the castle dotted with relaxing students, and in the shallows at the edge of the lake, a figure that had to be Luna twirling and splashing with her arms wide and her long blonde hair flying. As she began to put the books back on the shelves she thought that maybe Luna could offer her some help. The young Ravenclaw had often suggested ideas to Hermione when she'd been stuck on something. Hermione supposed it was a mixture of intelligence, being born to magic and her rather unconventional thought processes.  
She put the last dictionary away and left the library, running to catch Luna before she went into lunch.  
Breathless and dishevelled she ran up to the edge of the lake and called to her friend. Luna stopped her dance and beamed at Hermione, splashing to the shore she put her head to one side and examined the Gryffindor.  
"You look awfully tousled Hermione Granger." She said as she took in the other witch's messy hair, her crumpled skirt and top and flushed features. "Is everything alright?"  
"Just something I was doing on my own, something private. I've been trying all morning Luna and I just can't finish. It was fine when I started but when I got near the end I just couldn't manage. I don't usually have any problems, but this time it was a foreign tongue and I just can't get there. My wrist is aching and now it's lunchtime and I don't want to give up, it's just so frustrating."  
"Oooh you poor thing." Luna said looking at Hermione with sympathetic blue eyes. "I know what you mean. The other night it took me ages to finish, but when I did I felt so satisfied." Luna sighed happily and her eyes went a little misty at the memory. "You're always trying too hard Hermione. I've never thought about a foreign tongue before, but it sounds exciting, maybe I will tonight."  
"Well I hope you have more luck than me. I don't suppose you can think of anyone who can help?"  
Luna looked a little startled, "Really Hermione? I didn't think you were the sort of witch who would look for help."  
"Normally I wouldn't Luna, but I'm desperate. I've tried all the usual tricks, but it's just not working. I need a linguist with a lot of experience and a natural cunning. I don't suppose you know anyone?"  
"Hmmm...." mused Luna, "An experienced, cunning linguist." Luna's expression brightened, "There's always Pansy Parkinson, she's excellent, trust me." Luna winked conspiratorially at her friend.  
"Parkinson? Really? I didn't know she was...."  
"Oh yes, definitely. She's 'helped' me quite a few times. Very talented, all the other witches she's 'helped' say so as well. They say she's the best there is."  
"Great, I'll ask her straight away." Hermione looked at Luna, "You won't tell anyone will you Luna, it's just that I'm a prefect and, you know, I try to set a good example."  
"Of course not Hermione, mum's the word." Luna smiled bashfully at her friend, "Perhaps I could 'help' from time to time? I'd like that."  
"So would I Luna. I'll see how it goes with Parkinson and if there are no problems you can help me any time you want, as long as you keep it a secret"  
"Yummy!" Luna said simply.  
With a broad smile of thanks Hermione turned and dashed off leaving Luna to turn and paddle back into the lake. Absently Luna put her finger into her ear and wiggled it. She froze. Carefully she pulled an invisible something out into sunlight and peered at it.  
"Naughty wrackspurt." she said as she flung it away, "Lucky you didn't have time to cause any confusion."

***********************

  
Pansy Parkinson was climbing the steps to the main doors when Hermione caught up with her.  
"Pansy, thank goodness I've caught you. I'm desperate and Luna said you were the best there is." Hermione stood panting in front of the elegant Slytherin witch.  
Pansy looked Hermione up and down thoughtfully. "Well, you certainly look desperate Granger, but I must say I'm surprised. I've often wondered though......" Pansy seemed to come to a decision. "Alright Granger why not. After supper this evening, the history of magic classroom on the second floor. ever done this before?"  
"Never, but I can't wait that long Pansy, can't you......I mean can't we do it right now?"  
"Desperate is the word Granger, I've never met anyone so urgently in need of my services. Okay, where?"  
"Thanks Pansy. In the library."  
"Kinky!" Pansy was grinning at the fidgeting Gryffindor.  
The of puzzlement on Hermione's features cleared. "I know it's spelled C-I-N-Q-U-E but it's pronounced 'sank' not 'kinky', it's the French word for five. French obviously isn't your field of expertise."  
"Maybe Frenching is not what I'm absolutely best at no," said Pansy, "but I'll show you what I can do and you can decide."  
"Great!" Hermione said, "I'll go and get ready. I'll be waiting, it'll be open on the table for you." Hermione dashed off.  
"Well, well, well." Pansy mused to herself as she slowly followed Hermione up the steps. "This is going to be fun."

***********************

Pansy walked into the library to see Hermione jigging nervously from foot to foot in her impatience, her back to the work table where her parchment, quill and runes text book were neatly arranged.  
"At last Pansy, hurry up."  
"Hold your horses Granger, all good things come to those who wait."  
Pansy reached into her pocket and removed a small wrapped sweet. She slowly unwrapped it as she looked lecherously at Hermione.  
"That looks like a Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes product Pansy. Are you sure you should be eating that? You know what a reputation their creations have. It might do anything."  
"I know what this one does Granger, it's one of their Ton Tongue Toffees. But don't worry, I'll only nibble the corner, as it's your first time."  
Pansy took a tiny bite of the sweet and placed the remaining portion back in her pocket after carefully rewrapping it. Pansy's tongue slowly emerged from between her lips. More and more appeared until with wicked grin at Hermione she licked one of her own eyebrows.  
"Right." Pansy said, her words sounding a little muffled by the great scarlet tongue, "Let'th thee what you think of my frenching." Grabbing Hermione she forced their lips together and kissed her long and hard.  
Eventually Pansy broke apart and looked at the stunned witch in front of her. "What d'you think? Good enough?"  
"How dare you Parkinson." Hermione's voice was shaking with rage. "How dare you kiss me. Not only kiss me but push that giant wriggling tongue into my mouth. You....You....You snogged me. Don't you ever...."  
"Role play huh Granger? If that'th the way you want it." And Pansy pushed Hermione back onto the library table. With a practiced technique, and before Hermione had time to stop her, Pansy had run her hands up the back of Hermione's legs, lifted her bum from the table top and with a deft sweep slid Hermione's knickers down and off. Pansy held the underwear up and looked at them appreciatively. "Boy thortth." She lisped, "Very pretty Granger."  
Hermione's voice shook with embarrassment and rage, "Give me my knickers back this instant Parkinson. What the hell do you think you're doing? This is the library for God's sake, how dare you walk in here and take my knickers off, how dare you! Give them back now. I mean it."  
"You're really getting into the thpirit of thith aren't you Granger? Well done, role play ith tho much better when both partieth are committed." With a skill based on long experience, Pansy hooked her thumbs under Hermione's knees and pushed her legs back and apart.  
Frantically Hermione tried to cover her modesty by pulling at the front of her skirt. "Stop it Parkinson, stop it right now. I refuse to let you perform some disgraceful sex act on me. I refuse, d'you hear me. I'm a prefect and you'll do as I say. I'm not going to allow you to use that tongue on me. Here in the library of all places. Stop I said. Right Parkinson, detention.  
Pansy just grinned and wriggled her giant tongue. "Ready, thteady, here I come." She said and lowered her head.

***********************

Hermione looked up at Pansy standing above her. Weakly she slid of the table and stood trembling on the floor in front of the smug looking Slytherin witch.  
"You made me cum Parkinson. You made me cum, here, in the library." Hermione's voice was steady but she was still shaking. "I could have you expelled for that. Forcing unwanted sexual attention onto me. That's probably a crime. I could get you sent to Azkaban. An orgasm, here, in the library. How dare you."  
Pansy grinned, her tongue had shrunk back to its normal size. "You can stop the role play now Granger, although it was a lot of fun."  
Hermione raged on, "You pinned me down to a table, in the library of all places, you pinned me down and used that tongue to....to...."  
"Had to pin you down Granger, you were squirming about so much, and then when you started to shudder...."  
"Brought to a climax, in the library. How dare you. I ask you to up here to help me with some translation and you hold me down and ravish me with a six inch tongue. What the hell is wrong with you Parkinson?"  
"Some translation? But I thought you asked me up here to do that. Why else would Luna have recommended me. Sorry Granger." Pansy didn't look sorry at all. She was smirking as she looked at the furious Gryffindor.  
"And don't think I won't be having words with her as well." Hermione stormed. She leant back against the table and tidied her skirt. "In the library!" she said, shaking her head in disbelief.  
"So when you said to give you your knickers back, that's what you really meant?" Pansy asked, still smirking.  
"Of course that's what I bloody meant Parkinson. I couldn't have made it any clearer."  
"Ooops!" Pansy said.  
"Ooops! Is that all you can say? Ooops?" Hermione yelled.  
"And when you said 'take that tongue away from my clitoris you oversexed trollop' that's what you really meant?" Pansy asked.  
"Yes! That's what I really meant." Hermione snapped waspishly.  
"It wasn't a signal for me to push it inside and..."  
"No. Definitely not." Hermione huffed.  
"Or for me to start sliding it in and out?" Pansy was smirking even more.  
"No!"  
"Definitely not a cue for me to make the tip wiggle about like I did?"  
"Absolutely not."  
"Because Hermione, I'm confused you see. After you called me an oversexed trollop and I started doing that, the next thing you said was 'Yes.' In fact the entire phrase was 'Yes, oh God yes, Parkinson, don't stop.' You can understand my confusion."  
Hermione didn't say anything but glared at Pansy with her lips tight together.  
"Let's see," Pansy continued, "Then there was lots of gasping and moaning, and a couple of the cutest little squeals." She was grinning at Hermione. "Then you grabbed a big handful of my hair and screamed, 'All of it Parkinson you gorgeous filthy bitch, I want all of it.' Remember?"  
"Harrumph!" Hermione answered, her fury rapidly disappearing. "Very well Parkinson, it was a misunderstanding. I'll not report you this time."  
"This time Granger? You mean there's going to be a next time? I can't wait."  
"Shut up Parkinson. You're wilfully misunderstanding me." Hermione's anger was building again.  
"Are you sure?" Pansy was smirking at her again.  
Hermione snorted.  
"Well seeing as that wasn't a no....."  
"Parkinson, what are you doing?" Hermione said looking at the Slytherin.  
"This is the library.....  
"Put that toffee back in your pocket this instant.....  
"Don't you dare take a bite.....  
"I said don't....oh my God, it's even bigger than last time....  
"Parkinson get off your knees.....  
"Stand up I said....  
"Don't you dare lift up my skirt, I said don't.......  
"Oh God yes Parkinson you dirty tart. Just like that....."

**Author's Note:**

> Just thought I'd have a bit of fun with Pansy and Hermione.  
> A big thanks (again) to Hermione_Stranger who provided inspiration with her excellent ' A Complete & Total Misuse of School Facilities'


End file.
